SHIT, A GEYSER, PREPARE THE SHAFT! Posted on May 1, 2014 by .

Calistoga's Old Faithful Geyser, CaliforniaThe three days and two nights at the hospital were a blur. The hospital’s nursery seemed to be taking the front on all the diaper changes while we enjoyed the parade of hospital staff in and out of the room every day. Visitors stopping by to meet Kade were sprinkled in there as well. During a visit, I got to test my Daddy skills by finally getting to change a diaper. Mind you, this wasn’t my first rodeo. Being an older sibling of 14 years difference in age, diapers were nothing new to me. Except one thing, I was only accustomed to changing girl diapers.

This diaper was my first ever Meconium experience. This tar like substance could second as thermal paste on a cpu processor. Not sure how efficient that would be though. So, with lack of eye goggles, I plundged in like a Scrubbing Bubble off a Johnson commercial. Wax on, wax off. Done! All clean, until…the geyser went off. Up into the air, a yellow stream arc’d itself towards my face. Like Neo in the matrix, I dodged the supersoaker’s ammo of waste. Then, Kade threw a curveball. Kicking his feet up to his belly, which in turn changed the targetting on the geyser to himself. I’m rushing to grab another wipe to cover the cannon, holding him down with the free hand. Right about now, I’m wishing I had another arm, because Kade had given himself a golden shower, from head to toe. Geyser’s tend to add a couple minutes to the diaper routine. I learned my lesson. I’m sure later on, I will have to teach the aiming lesson again to Kade, but for now, we survived.

Another thing that was new to me, was the maintenance of the manhood. With little discussion with Kade about the choice we made for him, he was circumcised. With this decision, we opted in to extra maintenance while he healed. Vaseline is used for everything, and this was just another item on it’s list. “Lube it up and let it heal!” So, for the next week or so, I prepare myself to clean the “always loaded” gun. I never thought I would be comfortable wiping another male’s ass or handling his shaft, but I guess that’s another notch in the Dad’s Tool Belt.

About Nate:

Nate is an avid Web Developer, PC Gamer, Whiskey Connoisseur, Cigar Aficionado, who recently became a new dad who flies by the seat of his pants while learning parenthood.

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